glamour (such glamour)

the city
casts
a glamour

made up
of smog
and noise
and crowds
and tall buildings
and an unwillingness . . .

an inability
to stop
its incessant movement

car lights
in red and yellow
ant-crawling home
every night

a young man
from the rural countryside
is enthralled
by the whole
noisome
mess of it

thinks it
exciting

an aspiration

the pinnacle
and proof
against which
he must be tested

gazing down
late evening
from the tenth floor
the contrast of darkness
and light

movement and still

beyond the glass
and reflection
combine
to make him catch
his breath

and even
as he sinks into it
flailing
he loves it

believes
with all he is
that it is here
in this place
his marks
must be made

from this distance
with thirty years gone
the foolishness of such belief
is easy
to see

the centre
is where you stand

you
are
it

the whole
of it

the where
is circumstantial

a handful of days
back then
exhausting yourself
for a vague ideal

versus
lockdown
for weeks
and months
in a hope
that remains somewhat
opaque
of wiping out
a pandemic

the spring-time glory
of leaves in bud
aglow
before the streaming light
of the sun
greets me
as I look out
now
through lockdown windows

it is hard to know
if the tests
and challenges
set
so many years ago
to prove an over-eager youth
were ever
achieved

or even
in the end
if they amounted to
the right aims
and goals

but the beauty
of seasonal nature
at work every day

is proof
of a different kind

and appreciation
of such glory
a much less
strenuous
pursuit

so much as that
has been
learned

~

3 thoughts on “glamour (such glamour)

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