who am i? (after the affair)

i am disbelief at the churning
both familiar and strange
of aloneness re-forming

i am the pink petals of a rose
on a bush by the fence
that would have been a gift

i am an urgent need to check mail
four times in a day
and once more after darkness has fallen

i am relief at the stream of rain
running down cheekbones
and underneath eyes

i am the breath that catches
on each occasion
the phone shouts for attention

i am the thespian craft
enacting a set script
of smiles and nods and nonchalance

i am the low register
of deep dirge sounds
accompanying mournful songs

i am the small case letter
whose mark is insignificant
on a new page

---

© Frank Prem, 2000

200618