she said
I think you must be
the world’s best lover
he could feel her voice
as a vibration
rising through his chest
to reach inside his head
you care more for me
than for yourself
he said nothing
but considered what it is
that constitutes truth
kissed the top of her head
stretched his arms further around her
to fend away the breeze
rising with the tide on the bay
~
she said
you must be
the world’s best lover
you don’t change
always give me what I want
I think you’re afraid to ask
for yourself
he wondered about that
whether she was right
knowing she might be
hugged himself tight inside
said nothing
~
she said
you might be
the world’s best lover
but you never give
anything of yourself
I never know what’s going on
inside your head
it’s good it’s great
just sometimes I want be
in there with you
do you know what I mean
he looked at her
frowned
opened his mouth
to tell her a story of himself
closed it again
felt a shortness in his breath
the loudness
of his heartbeat
~
she said
you were a great lover
the best
kissed him on his cheek
waited
he held her close in a hug
tight for a moment
gazed out to the bay
and the water
behind her shoulder
not thinking anything
turned to leave
noticed his breath
came easier today
© Frank Prem, 2003
040518
This is really wonderful – the tension and unease building throughout the verses – it almost came as a relief that he walked away! (although perhaps she would disagree) ….
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A strange sort of dissociation in the end.
Interesting how the same phrase changes so much with just a few different qualifiers.
Thanks for reading, as always,
F~
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you are absolutely right – on both counts – the word “disassociation” – and qualifiers … they can completely shift meanings in a blink!
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The first stanza remind me of many guys. My former district superintendent was a charismatic leader, but he told me that he was a loner. Opened his mouth…closed his mouth again… that’s when some guys start feeling uneasy… they feel naked, exposed… and decided to disassociate. That’s my observation of some guy… Sorry, I might have gone off to my story. Wonderful poem, makes me think!
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Hi Miriam,
Yes, stoicism taken to far and at too great a cost, I think.
Glad you enjoyed reading the piece.
Cheers,
Frank
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Chinese taught modesty, and the concept of BIG man. Japanese and Korean taught dignity to the point of suicide. I’m said that that men are not taught to cry and be vulnerable! hehe…. My husband cried only once (when he was semi drunk – over the death of his best friend).
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Yes, it’s a very strange thing, and very limiting for men.
Oh well.
Cheers,
Frank
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